Cryptic Existence

The existence of the idea of existence
exists to further our understanding of existing.

But if there is no reason to exist
then why do we?
If we are the atoms that make us
surely we cannot say they exist for me.

They exist because that is what they are.
What we are is a product of their existence.
They have come together and present themselves in a certain way.
A way that provides the least resistance.
If we had control
would we not wish for there to be a difference?
Yet we have no control, but perceive control just so we can further our reasons for commitment.

Committing to an ideal, a value, a reason for reason.
But if, like you, the atoms are only there to be,
then you are merely a season.
A pattern, repetitive till we end.
Is that knowledge not enough to start a new trend?

Live in the mountains of your own thoughts.
Take for granted that life will cease.
Look into yourself to make the size of the world decrease.
To understand that in that pattern that you exist,
you can find happiness and peace.

Perched Upon A Rooftop

Perched upon a rooftop
the grass seems so green,
the trees high and strong,
like something out of a dream.

Looking down from the sky,
it's all so small, so distant, so hazy.
Unclear what I can see,
unsure if it is fake or reality.

From below, I look up.
Wanting to be that high.
See everything down here go away,
as I spread my wings and fly.

I float up, leaving all this behind.
Inching closer to the sparkling sky.
Everything becoming small, distant, hazy.

Everything becoming a fleeting memory.
Now it's just me. Just me up so high.
Wondering what is so wrong with down there.
Perched upon a rooftop, wondering why?

Verse-First Omniscience

The air moves quickly
places to go, people to see.
People yawning, smiling and screaming.

"I am right"
"no me"
I watch
confused at what they mean.

She says she knows best,
but so does he.
He, she, they, them.
I look on as the answers fill my head.

I know...oh how I know.
I know what is important.
What doesn't matter.

All I need is food, clothes, shelter and love.
What more is to know?
What more than love?

I can see it,
clear as day
and I was born
just yesterday.

The Cycle

I woke up today
Told Mom that I was gay
Told Dad that I was done
trying to hide away.

The both looked down, saying it's ok
that when we go to church, the pastor will know what to say.
I think to myself that maybe, maybe it'll change
but this just shows that it won't be today.

The world sees you as you should be
without regard or thought for your sanity
and whether you like, you love or you hate
it's just the way the world was made.

Made by those who saw a better way
but a way that was good
and was only good if it was their way
through the power that they craved
by telling you
that this is how you should behave.

Follow the greater good
for the greater crowd
while the minority remain misunderstood.
and misunderstood is what we know
and what we are and how we have grown.

We only like what we know and dislike what we don't
and when time goes on
those that were misunderstood today become known
and the unknown is replaced.

Replaced by something else to hate
and those who were become lost in the tide of hate.
Forgot that they were in the same life but they seemed to have closed the gate.
Left the new class out in the cold to take their place...to bear the storm and wait.

They Don't Know The Fight

When he walks to school hearing voices that tell him to stay home
He pushes on hoping that the day will bring him something
Something to hold on to, some sort of knowledge
Something to let him know that he isn't nothing.

He gets through the day and walks home alone
Fighting back the scenes of his arguing parents from the night before
But he can't.

The scenes are too strong, the emotions to painful.
Wondering if it is him, if he is the cause.
When he gets home he finds his mom on the floor
and his father abusing her without pause.

He moves away and runs from the home
Not sure where he is going but he wants to be alone.
Wants to rid himself of the emptiness he feels when he breathes.
The emptiness when he sleeps but it holds him till his limbs freeze.

She
The girl who has lots of friends who know her none.
Who smile with her everyday thinking she is having fun,
not knowing that those smiles are keeping her back.
Keeping her back on this world preventing her from listening to the voice that says run.

The boys that want to be with her for her looks and when she says no,
they ridicule her and say things like she's too uptight.
They don't know that the boys in her life have left her hanging.
That her father is the reason she is crying all night.

But they fight.
When all odds are against them and when all the world seems to grey.
They push forward and push harder each day into the fray.
The wounds invisible, the scars taken as an excuse to call them weird, to be feared or worse...to make them feel unwanted.


But they are here.
And here they should stay, because the world may not know this but they do.
They know that there are others like them who need to be heard, to be let out to the world be true.
But society cannot handle such strength if it is not visible. What stays in the mind must be of there own doing.
Never mind the hate and anger, the depression and anguish, never mind the thoughts of death accruing.

They hold on.
Hold on that they may find that person, that someone to help them or for them to help.
To look to the skies and see the blue and not the grey. To see the stars and not the darkness of the night.
To be able to live without the sickness consuming them from the inside. To be able to stand when others, when those, when they...when they don't know the fight.

Whose Decision

So I walked past a stall set up today and they were promoting women rights with one of their issues being abortion. They wish to legalise it. Although this topic is not about abortion but regarding "rights".

When does it become not your right when you are doing something bad. You have the right to hurt yourself but not others...I believe this is a common notion. However, does suicide still fall into that category? I don't believe it should be a resort that is looked upon often. The reasons however, should be.

Who are we to decide if someone who is suffering should continue to suffer? Aren't we supposed to give them the right to decide such a fate. The world may be empathetic and some may actually know what it is that the person is going through. Does that mean they should hold out to the point that they become consumed by their own thoughts? Help should be sought first, that is a no brainer. But not everyone who goes to see a therapist, recovers. Not everyone who gets a prescription from the doctor is healed. So perhaps such things as euthanasia is something that is ever present but not for everyone. Topics such as this have been debated for decades now. Perhaps looking at it in a different way will put things in perspective...Many children in poverty ridden countried die of starvation. Starvation in itself is a very slow and painful death which (depending on the health of the person) can take days to weeks. Should these children be allowed to die or do we prolong there suffering in hope that in a few months, we can solve world hunger...or world poverty? Should we be cruel to be kind?

I told them what I was.
I told them what I see.
I told them what I feel.
I showed them me.

--But that is not enough.
--We need to see proof.
--It's just a phase.
--Teens, just being aloof.

This is not a simple matter.
It has been thought through with precision.
Do not take me for someone reckless.
I have made my final decision.

--But the world loves you.
--Killing is wrong.
--The holy books say so.
--You need to stay strong.

Strength...you think this is a matter of weakness?
A matter of keeping my chin up?
Where do you derive your conclusions?
Do you think my issues are made up?

--No no no.
--We just believe that you can hold on.
--The world wants you to be here.
-- Your loved ones don't want you gone.

The world? My loved ones?
They are the reason I am here.
The world will not miss me.
Nor do I hold the world very dear.

--But there is always another way.
Enough. You don't seem to understand.
This is not a debate nor discussion.
This is my stand.

I have made the choice.
And it should be mine to make.
I have lived through enough pain.
I no longer wish to wake.

Robot's Of Our Time

So someone asked me yesterday..."How's it goin?". Do people really care that much or is it just another way of saying "hello" right now. Why is it that when sitting on a bus, a train or ferry that people do not talk to one another. Everyone is so engrossed in their own little devices from iPhones to iPad but I try to talk to someone a few days ago but they seemed to be startled at just the "hello".

Have we come to expect so little from everyone that the mere sight of another human being has become so monotonous that we no longer feel the need to ask "how's it goin?" and actually wait for the response. Their are times when even smiling at someone you make eye contact with is considered wrong as well. Why? Because while we are blissfully aware of the updates from friends and happenings of stragers who are friends of friends of friends, we overlook that those in front of us may be in need of a friend or may even become a friend. Is it that everyone now has too many friends online to consider talking to people in reality. Every friend was once a stranger. Staring at your hand all day and maybe even night is causing one's mind to be narrowed when it comes to social interaction. If you but look up from your hand, you can see the wonders of our world. Let us hope that one day, someone may be able to look up from their device, and wonder how someone else may be doing.

I look
I see
I touch
I feel
But when did life become so un-real.

When did staring at our phones
become so time consuming.
When did looking down,
become so life consuming.

We look up,
with hunched over backs.
Glancing at others,
then returning to the phone to chat.

Our eyes are starting to close,
on the wonder of this world.
They are fixed,
on the "what's new" of this world.

We see things through a screen,
we even get excited about it.
We spend a fortune,
even though it can be decided that you can live without it.

Is it to blend in?
Is it to keep up?
What is it for?
When is it enough?

It will never be enough.
Never ceasing to rob us of the wonder.
The wonder of a human being, another person.
The rawness of people is like lightning and thunder.

They can inspire and create.
But why spare time when you have windows 8.
The new samsung tablet.
The new Mac gadget.

Try not to let it control you.
Staring at it like a robot.
Try to speak to someone, and you may never believe your luck.
But first, you have to look up.